I feel very poor right now

why i feel that way? maybe because of my condition right now, let me explain it to you, today 17 Agustus 2020 i still live with my parent and i am 24 years old this november. I feel in this age i should live by my own life and not depending with my parent. my father is a cleaning service in health care near house but also a chef that have his own little shop at home we offer fried rice and some simple food for the price is about IDR10k-20k . my mother just a house wife who help my father at our little shop. So base on my privilege i am should increase it from very the bottom. my house roof leaked i have grandmother who is sick and my father everyday take care of her food and shit. i only life with four member in the big broke house. 

Since COVID i don't have enough money to pay my phone debt. pay my graduation bill, my phone press, my petrol, or even pay 5000 to buy a food i also cant save my money to fix my broke brace or my dream next moth to go to Depok visit my twin. if i have a lot of money i will get proper job abroad or other place not here, buy a car, buy a Mac-book pro, fix my house with an Architect Services, make a dream kitchen for my father with Decorating Services advice , fix our little shop, fix our bathroom, make my own library, have a solar panel, go to spa with my parent make them younger, less stress and fresh than ever. have my big fish pond with a lot of koi, buy a brand new i-phone, buy a fuji camera, buy TSLA stock, buy BBCA sock, buy a land, deposit 100.000.000 in 5 bank, go travel the world, make youtube channel, have gym member card, eat healthy food. write a book about how money change my life. buya a ot of plant to make my garden greener. 

i still have to learn how to manage money. i mean they can wasted and not produce much more if you just spend it for cost not for an asset. 

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